How To Get What You Want Without New Year’s Resolutions

In TRANSFORM by Allison

Are you steeping in the possibilities that arise just because the “ball dropped” on New Year’s Eve and the whole world knows that it’s time for a new start?

Or are you put off by the whole idea of New Year’s resolutions?

Me? I’m mixed about it. On the one hand, if something needs to change, I think it’s counterproductive to wait for the calendar to tell me when to do it. On the other hand, I love to take time at the start of a new year to think about where I am, where I’m going, and how I’m going to get there.

Many years ago, I told Moshe Feldenkrais that I had realized something as important as “When you know what you’re doing, you can do what you want.” He looked askance at me but listened as I told him that first, you have to know what you want. I expected to be eviscerated, but instead, he told me I was “starting to get the idea.”

Even so, over much of my life, I put what I wanted out of my mind most of the time, and instead concentrated on what was required, what others needed, and what people wanted from me.

As a hands-on practitioner, I was used to giving, not so used to receiving. And that’s a problem when you consider that practitioners are role models for their clients. If I couldn’t receive, what was I modeling for the clients to whom I was trying to give?

So here’s a gentle nudge…

Take a few minutes and really consider what you want in 2018… in every part of your life. 

Personally, I find it useful to look at that from 4 different perspectives.

1. How do you want to feel this year—physically, emotionally, spiritually?

It’s probably not difficult to say something like “I want to lose 10 pounds” or “I want to find a church I like.” It’s great if you know that… and if you to take a few minutes to uncover the feeling you’re looking for, you’ll have a “North Star” to guide your decisions.

2. What do you want…

  • in your most important relationships?
  • in your living situation?
  • in your social life?
  • in terms of time?
  • regarding money?
  • for your health?
  • to learn?
  • to experience?
  • to share with others?

Write it down. Make the list as long as it needs to be. You don’t have to show it to anyone, but writing it makes it more likely to happen.

To further increase your commitment to getting what you desire, put your list where you can see it every day. Read it every few days. Imagine having what’s on that list.

3. How will getting what you desire change everything else?

When you take the time to connect what you want in one area of your life with all the other areas, you deepen the commitment you have to actually getting what you want. You begin to see more clearly how everything is connected, and that means that what you want has greater significance than you usually give it.

For example, suppose you have a desire to raise your fees or get more clients, either of which would raise your income. You also want to spend more time socializing. Connecting your income to your ability to feel comfortable spending money going out with friends gives you more internal support for raising your fee or doing what it takes to get more clients than you would have if you see your business as separate from the rest of your life.

If you’re a visual person, you might find that mind-mapping this is helpful. If you like tables and spreadsheets, have at it that way.

4. How will you need to change, in order to want what you want, take the steps required to get it and have the life you want?

Let’s face it—if nothing needed to shift, you’d already have what you want!

That’s why it’s important to have a look at what you have to do—or who you have to be or become—in order to acknowledge that you want something and then go out and get it.

This is where you might hear inner voices objecting and if they do, don’t fight with them! Instead, find out what they are concerned about and how you can create conditions to help them get on board with where you want to go. When they are headed to where you want to go, they support you in getting there.

When they’re not, you’ll find that they thwart every effort you make—no matter what time of year you make it!

Here’s to 2018! May you find out what you want and happily walk the path to getting it!

~~~~~

PS If this sort of internal inquiry is helpful to you, join us in our Facebook group, Hands-on Transformation. We talk about this kind of thing a lot!

You can find us at https://www.facebook.com/groups/handsonxfm/

…And subscribe so you don’t miss anything! Just enter your details below and I’ll send regular tips, questions, and opportunities to your inbox.

  • GDPR Compliance requires a different format for email subscriptions... please check the box, then click the SUBMIT button below to be taken to a secure subscription form.