Allison Rapp

Feel Like Crying? Me, Too.

There’s no point in hiding your feelings about the pandemic. But if you’re here for something bigger — like transformational work — you need to make sure that you don’t get stuck there. Here are some ideas for coping with those times.

Zappos is one of my favorite online stores. My feet are hard to fit, so I often order several pairs of shoes, hoping one will work, and then I send the rest back with zero hassle.

That’s why I’ve had a box sitting in the living room with a return label on it since right around when I started isolation, and I’ve been telling myself I’d take it to UPS “the next time I go out.” But I’m not going out.

Quite honestly, that box doesn’t add the sort of cachet I aspire to in my living room, so today I called to ask for a UPS pickup. I got through to Justin at customer service pretty quickly. He’s working from home and we had a nice chat until I felt tears coming on and said “good-bye.”

And sometimes, I scream — case in point, last week when my dogs — who NEVER counter-surf — pulled a brand new loaf of Tillamook cheese onto the floor and ate nearly 2 pounds of it. It would have lasted me weeks. I didn’t see it happen but I think it lasted them maybe 5-10 minutes. Come to think of it, I’m not really sure why they left any.

This is all by way of telling you that I am really aware of how easy it is to fall into a hole of downward-spiral thinking… that this is endless, that it’s ruinous, that it means we’re going to lose everything, that we’ll never recover, that even if we don’t die, life as we know it is over.

Here’s why it’s such a struggle: I need to let those emotions have space. But if I indulge myself in being a victim, I lose the ability to help myself — and I’m no good to anyone else, either. And that’s where my purpose gets derailed.

How much is enough?

So this is what I do — when I’m crying or screaming, at a certain point, I look at my imaginary watch and think to myself, “Wow. Five minutes… Is it enough?”

Sometimes it is, and sometimes I go on for another 5 or 10 minutes and then check in with myself again.

In the case of my beloved Tillamook, 5 minutes was more than enough screaming — every single time I revisited my angst over the course of the day!

The point is to acknowledge what’s real — and then get back on purpose.

I can’t afford to stay in that downward spiral… and I doubt you can, either. We have skills people need right now. We need to show up and be the leaders the world needs right now. We have opportunities — right now — that could change everything.

And we can’t act on any of that if the only “way of being” available to us is victim mode.

If you think that your income is gone, please think again — about how you can use this time to grow your practice in new and different ways.

If you used to have an additional stream of income that’s dried up, maybe it’s a gift in disguise, because the importance of your practice income has just been highlighted in a new and powerful way.

If you have extra time, ask yourself how you can use it best and if you’re using it to further your purpose here on the planet.

If you have kids at home more of the day than usual, ask your inner guidance for help in teaching valuable life lessons by your example of being a functional working parent.

Being functional doesn’t mean that you don’t have feelings about what’s happening now. Like I said… I’m crying nearly every day. But not the whole day, not even close.

Let it out, then get on with it.

Get the help you need. You may feel like you’re “not that kind of person” — but believe me, me all can use a little help right now. The first step is to figure out what it looks like for you.

Give the help you can. Reaching outside yourself will make you feel better and it will give you answers — for example, to the question, “What could I possibly do that would help anyone now?”

Be kind to others, and to yourself.  We all need some slack right now — let yourself have enough to stay functional and in charge of your own life.

Be real. When you show up as who you really are, you give other people permission to do the same thing. That’s something we really need right now more than ever.

Stay on purpose as much as possible. Purpose gives meaning to life, and yours can’t be achieved by anyone but you. Ask yourself how it relates to this time, these circumstances. Then go do it.

Remember that you’re not alone. If you belong to our Transformational Touch group on Facebook you’re part of a large number of supportive practitioners… take advantage of that. If you’re not there with us there yet, click the link and join!