Allison Rapp

3rd Table from the Sun

How is a Feldenkrais Practitioner like any one of the crew from 3rd Rock from the Sun?

We have a great TV that uses almost no electricity. That’s because we live in the mountains and don’t have have a cable contract so there’s not point in turning it on.

When we moved here, I was astonished to find out that mountains go down as much as they go up. The relevant translation of that is that the antenna on top of our house picks up a great signal when the weather is right. So far, I couldn’t tell you when that is.

To be fair, though, it’s only been 12 years, and most of that time,  Mercury has been in retrograde.

It's hard to tell which one is the Feldenkrais practitioner! I got my training on this when I was 10 months  old and opened the door of our front-loading washer while it was in the wash cycle. In college, I used to watch the clothes spin when I needed a study break. 
It’s hard to tell which one is the Feldenkrais practitioner! I got my training on this when I was 10 months  old and opened the door of our front-loading washer while it was in the wash cycle. In college, I used to watch the clothes spin when I needed a study break.

Once in a while, we watch a DVD or stream Netflix TV when we have time and agreement about what’s worthwhile. (Challenge: use “worthwhile” and TV” in the same sentence.)

But lately, I’ve been watching one hit of 3rd Rock from the Sun every night before bed.

I know, I’m an unlikely type for comedy. Not Jewish. Not a minority I can’t name because it’s not PC. Did you ever notice that you have to be a minority to mention other minorities and be PC?

I wonder if being a Feldenkrais® practitioner could make me a minority…. that might really open the door for me.

Anyway, I had the brainstorm that going to bed having just laughed myself into stomach cramps for 21 minutes stimulates my endorphin production sufficiently to counteract whatever it is I’m doing out here in beyond-middle-age that is otherwise shortening my life. You know, like not wearing sunscreen because I can’t decide whether the risk of getting the cancer you get from using it is greater or less than the risk of getting the cancer you get from not using it.

And today, I got to thinking about how these 3rd Rock aliens are just like Feldenkrais practitioners:

~~ They are complete students of human life and human nature, human movement and human idiocy.

~~ They think entirely outside whatever box most humans are in. In fact, most of the time, it appears they have no box outside of which to think.

~~ They are discovering their own bodies on a daily basis; often, they cannot believe what they find.

~~ Their concepts of how the human body works are completely different from what most people think.

~~ They’re willing to try anything at least once, often more. In Harry’s case… 6 times for slamming the car door on his thumb. In our case, it’s not usually quite so dramatic. But still… we’re contenders.

~~ They come to every situation tabula rasa. Actually, they probably do this better than we do, but in our defense, we don’t have a script.

~~ Being fazed by any situation — and believe me,  they are fazed by almost every situation — never leads to inaction. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t, but they always do something.

~~ They’re constantly describing human experience in terms most humans would never put in the same sentence as “human.”

I'm positive she's my long-lost twin!
I’m positive she’s my long-lost twin!

~~ Whatever delusions they have are woven seamlessly into their reality. The fact that we’re laughing is one of the few things that does not faze them.

And speaking of delusions, my own — which has absolutely nothing to do with being a Feldenkrais practitioner — is that Sally is the reflection I see in the mirror.

And while that always makes me smile, it never seems the least bit funny to me.